6 Decades of Life - I'm So Grateful

December 26, 2023, is the day I celebrated my actual 60th birthday. I say “actual” because my goal is to have several celebrations. I initially thought about giving myself a party, but the kind of party I wanted where you walk in after someone else decorates and prepares the venue and then you leave without having to clean up was a bit too expensive. Plus most of the folks I would invite probably wouldn’t even know it’s a milestone birthday. So far, I have had five official gatherings with more on the way. Well, I’ve also taken two trips to celebrate: in Florida with my aunt, uncle and cousin who also celebrated milestone birthdays and in Arizona with my best friend from high school who also turned 60 earlier in the year. So far so good!

As I reflect over the years, I want to share a few pivotal moments in my life for each decade.

Decade 1 (1963-1973): It’s kind of weird but I remember being in a crib with a cover over it. My mom told me that I had pneumonia, and they covered my crib and put a humidifier in it. I’m grateful that I lived through that sickness as a small child. I also remember getting my ears pierced at age ten and always dancing. I loved to dance and sing and still do today.

Decade 2 (1974-1983): At 11, my grandmother taught me to crochet, something I still enjoy doing. At 16, I got contacts, and my braces removed. I was a new young woman who no longer had coke bottle glasses and buck teeth. I went to school like this new person then was out for a week or so with the flu. I guess the Lord sat me down because I was so caught up in my cuteness. (LOL). At 17, my mom made me accept a scholarship to the University of Tennessee. I teased her about that all the time. Little did I know she was on the phone in another room when I said no because I wanted to go to the University of Kentucky where my then boyfriend attended. One of the best decisions she ever made for me. She was a wise woman.

Decade 3 (1984-1993): In 1984, my granddaddy died of a heart attack. He was the father figure in my life. I was so devastated that I made the decision not to return to college. What was the use? He wasn’t going to see me graduate. Well, I did go back after my family said he would want me to finish and graduate. In 1987, I moved to Ohio for a job I found in the “classified ads” of the newspaper, a management trainee for a Savings & Loan in Hamilton, Ohio. In 1988, I got engaged but cancelled the wedding when I found out my fiancé was not committed to me or a job. In 1990, I was hired as a branch manager for a small Savings Bank which was acquired by my current employer.

Decade 4 (1994-2003): After volunteering to teach Sunday school, I started my career in learning and development as a facilitator on OJ Day which is the day OJ Simpson was driving the white Bronco through the city. This change gave me the opportunity to travel and meet so many people that I still interact with today. I also decided to go back to school to get my master’s degree in education to further my career. I also accepted my call to the ministry in 2001 and was licensed in 2003. This was a major change in my life as you can imagine.

Decade 5 (2004–2013): In 2004, I bought my first single family home in Forest Park. After two years, I decided to build a home that could accommodate my family when they visited. I loved the home and the fact that I could entertain and fellowship, but it was difficult to maintain in more ways than one. In 2006, I officiated my aunt and uncle’s wedding which was the first. In 2010, my world was turned upside down. I graduated with an MBA, went to Paris, France with my best friend from college and received one of the highest recognition honors from my employer. Worst of all, my mom was hospitalized, diagnosed with congestive heart failure, put on suicide watch, and refused to go back home where she lived with her mother. I found her a nursing home, but unfortunately she got progressively worse while there; non-responsive, unable to talk or walk and screaming through the night. At one point, I was told she was dying.

Decade 6 (2014–2023): Thank God for answering prayer! Not sure what year because it was a blur (maybe 2015), but my mom was miraculously healed. She walked out of the nursing home and moved to her own efficiency apartment in a retirement facility. It was an adjustment for her, but she eventually became “the mayor.” This was the first time my mom ever had her very own place, and I was happy to make it happen. I changed churches in 2017. In 2019 I moved my mom to a nicer one-bedroom apartment in a different retirement facility, sold my house, gave away lots of furniture, moved to a rental and went to Disneyworld and Israel. 2020 was a horrible year with the pandemic, lockdown and my mom dying unexpectedly the day before Mother’s Day. One year and one month later, my best friend from college died. I’m still on this grief journey but my joy is no longer suppressed. I experience what I call “grief bites” where sadness comes with a memory or a longing for my mom or best friend. In 2021 I unexpectedly got a different position at work which turned out to be a promotion. I am so grateful to God and have really enjoyed the new challenges. I officiated two funerals, both on my uncle’s side of the family one of which was my first. The Lord blessed me to take some fun trips, buy a condo and new car. He also birthed a new vision in me to begin blogging and to start a coaching business. My grandmother made it to 100 years and almost ten months before she passed in 2023. I was honored to officiate her funeral as well. And finally, I praise God that I made it to 60 years old, which leads to my word for 2024: Grateful! Grateful for being in the land of the living for six decades and having the opportunity to leave a legacy that will bring glory to God. In the words of CeCe Winans, “All my life you have been faithful, all my life you have been so so good. With every breath that I am able, I will sing of the goodness of God.”

Written January 13, 2025