I don’t typically make New Year’s resolutions because by February I have forgotten them. Then that gives me a reason to beat myself up about unaccomplished goals. So, I often select a word for the year. In 2019 it was “surrender”. And this year it is “joy.” I didn’t select a word in 2020 or 2021 probably because I was living in a fog for much of the time.
Nonetheless, I had my breakthrough on October 17, 2021. What does that mean or look like? Well, it’s hard to explain, but it was like I removed a mask off my face. Or I was living the words of the song “Rattle” that says, “Open the grave. I’m coming out. I’m gonna live again!” I remember singing that song with the choir on that Sunday and then crying profusely and uncontrollably at the altar as two church members prayed for me. This was Part 2 of this healing process; what my counselor calls “soul care” which was allowing myself to feel and process my pain and grief. I realized that I had been suppressing my feelings. I was like an actor on stage; all smiles and giggles in front of everyone at work and church, but incredibly sad and depressed afterward when I was alone. I was lethargic and eating like crazy, things I hadn’t eaten in years. Although I prayed to the Lord, I never really talked to Him about how I felt or asked Him those “why” questions.
Nonetheless, you can learn more about soul care when you read “What’s your IOB?” After the breakthrough, I have had so much joy. I really experienced unspeakable joy (I Peter 1:8). I didn’t realize how down and depressed I was. I had been hesitant to use the word “depressed” until my cousin enlightened me that there’s a difference in “being depressed” and “being in depression;” temporary vs. permanent. It is amazing that my smiles, laughter, and positive demeanor are genuine and sincere. I am so grateful to the Lord (and my counselor) for helping me to get out of the pit of despair. Thus, the reason I chose the word “joy” for this year. I recommend that you find a word that you want to focus on, then find scriptures to read to stay focused on the word. It will remind you when you or your emotions head in a different direction.
My “Joy” Scriptures:
Rejoice in the Lord always; and again, I say, rejoice. (Philippians 4:4 KJV)
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine; but a broken spirit drieth the bones (Proverbs 17:22 KJV)
For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. (Psalms 30:5 KJV)
They that sow in tears shall reap in joy (Psalms 126:5 KJV)
…Do not grieve, because the joy of the Lord is your strength. (Nehemiah 8:9 CSB)
Written February 4th and 8th , 2022
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